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The Woman in Room 119 B
Tuesday morning dawned like every other day. The old woman tried to turn over to relax the muscles in her back. She felt like someone had twisted her like a rubber band, wound too tight. She could not turn over by herself and she knew quite well there was no use to call out, they would come when they would come. She tried to look out her window to see the parking lot but found she was unable to lift herself far enough to see. She lay there in her discomfort, knowing they would roll in breakfast soon. They would raise the head of her bed but she would still be on the twisted sheets, a witness to the restless night. She thought of the wet pad under her body. During the night she had called and called all to no avail. It shamed her to wet the bed, a sure loss of dignity but when they did not come... She heard voices in the hall. Sure enough, the little blonde aide walked into the room with her breakfast on a tray. "Good morning and how are we, today?", she chirped brightly. The lady tried to tell her, the bed was wet, she needed to wash her hands but the girl just kept on talking while she rolled the old woman’s bed up to almost an erect position. It was as though she were alone in the room and the woman was another object to be moved around. Never further acknowledging the frail lady except to say, ‘enjoy your breakfast’, the girl walked out of the room leaving her with rumpled wet sheets and unwashed hands. It was as though she were invisible. She sat in the miserable position, staring at the tray of indeterminate content, tears rolling slowly down her cheeks. As she so often did, she withdrew to a different time and place. She could hear the squeals of the children as they ran round and round the big oak. She had also played under the tree as her Mother had sat in the shade with her knitting needles flashing in the sun. "Be careful Nancy, don’t soil your dress." her Mother would call. How long has it been since someone had called her Nancy? Not since Harry had died she thought. She and Harry had been so in love. They wanted a big family and they ended up with four children, two boys and two girls, how could it have been more perfect. They lived in the huge house that had been in her family at least three generations. There was room for her parents, Harry, the children and herself. She had wanted to stay so she could help her Mother who was not so strong as before. The stroke had almost ended her Mother’s life and had left her crippled to the extent that she had to live out her days in a wheelchair. All the thoughts her Mother may have had remained inside for she could no longer talk. It had been hard and was still difficult to think about but was far better than when her mother had died. Nancy had put her in the shade down by the lake. There was a nice breeze. The children were there. Becky sat under the tree reading while the boys romped and ran, chasing a basketball all over the yard. The little one Sarah, named after her Grandmother stayed right by the wheelchair. She talked and her Grandmother listened, Nancy never knew if they understood each other at all, but it made them happy to be together. Nancy had gone to the house to get some lemonade when she heard hysterical screams. She slammed out the screen door, running as fast as she could. When she got there, she saw the overturned wheelchair. She joined the screams. "Sarah........Mother", she could see neither of them. Into the lake, all she could find was the wheelchair, no sign of the two Sarah’s. The Sheriff brought about twenty men with him. They searched all afternoon. Finally one of the men came out of the water with a tiny dripping body. She had run over to the edge of the lake, lost her balance and tumbled in. Becky said her Grandmother let out a wail and said ‘nooooo’, the first and last word since the stroke. She rolled her wheelchair toward the water, overturned and was also lost. They found her the next day. Nancy could not even recall the funeral. It was blocked from her mind as though it never happened. Her Dad died two months later. He had no desire at all to go on living with Sarah gone. They were together for forty years. Not enough time but it was good for they loved each other dearly. "Through with your breakfast?,", the blonde said as she picked up the tray and walked away. She seemed oblivious to the fact that the food had not been touched. "Wait," , Nancy called out. The girl gave no hint of acknowledgment to the voice of the lady. She lay until almost noon in the wet bed, with the tangle of sheets twisted around her. The bed was still rolled up at the head to an almost sitting position. Finally a nurse came into the room reached unceremoniously under the covers, felt the wet and told the woman, "Haven’t I told you to call someone when you have to go instead of wetting your bed?" There was no use for Nancy to say a word. They never heard her, they never cared. To them, she was just the old woman in room 119B who wet her bed and would not eat her food. When she was gone there would be another in bed B. She wondered if they would notice it when she was gone and another took her place. "Yes, we do have a free bed. It emptied today. Room 119, bed B, by the window."
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© by Qumran Bet Community August 2001
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