These are some articles which I have gotten together and you may know more about this than I do but I know that most of the young women who are attempting to serve YHWH have never heard these things.

We need to know and teach such to the young women in the congregation.

This mainly is concerned with the rituals YHWH set up for women:

**First, the Torah tells us that a menstruant woman must separate herself from physical contact with her husband..

~If a woman has a discharge, and the discharge from her body is blood, she shall be set apart seven days; and whoever touches her shall be unclean [niddah] until evening. {Vayikra/Lev. 15:19}

"Niddah" means "separated." Once a woman becomes niddah, she remains so unless and until she properly immerses herself in a mikvah/ritual bath [verse 13] [Anciently she had to take sacrifices and perform the mikvah...but since there is no Temple today to do this we don't do this.]

[But in the Jewish communities you will see that there are Mikvah buildings today....in fact, when a Jewish community is moving into an area there are two things that are most important in establishing first in that area before the people move into the area....a shul/synagogue first is set up and then a mikvah building.]

In a Jewish community the married couple must abstain from physical contact from the time that the wife begins her menstrual period until seven days AFTER it ceases. After these twelve or more days have passed, she immerses herself in a mikvah, after which the couple may resume their physical relationship.

Also an unmarried woman is forbidden of course to have physical intimacy with any man, and vice versa. This based on the verse...

~Also you shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness as long as she is in her customary impurity. {Vayikra/Lev. 18:19}

The term 'uncover her nakedness' is a euphemism for secual intercourse. As long as a woman remains niddah and has not properly immersed in a mikvah, it is prohibited for a man to be physically intimate with her.

When the Temple stood, any Yehudite/Jew who was ritually impure was forbidden to enter it. Becoming ritually impure was permitted as long as one did not need to be in the Temple. Currently, all Yehudim are ritually impure because of coming into direct or indirect contact with a corpse.

This is because the means [Ashes of Red Heifer Bamidbar/Num. 19] for removing this specific type of impurity was lost when the second Temple was destroyed.

Everyone today is presumed to have been in a room with a corpse, or to have had contact with someone else who was, thus acquiring a form of ritual impurity.

The sole implication of this for contemporary Yehudim is that we are all forbidden to enter the area in Yerushalayim where the Temple once stood. There is no implication that Yehudim are sullied or bad because they are ritually impure.

part from being prohibited from entering the Temple Mount, Yehudim have not concerned themselves with varous types of ritual impuritys since the Temple was destroyed.

Contrary to popular belief, when a woman has the status of niddah, the prohibition of not being with men has nothing to do with the making them unclean or defiled.

Women who currently go to the mikvah still retain the ritual impurity that disqualifies every Yehudite from entering the Temple.

When women immerse today, they primarily do so to change their status from being sexually forbidden to their husbands, to being secularly permitted. this specific type

From the time that a woman firist menstruates, usually as an adolescent, she acquires the status of niddah.

Until just prior to her wedding, she is not allowed to change this status, because the whole purpose of women's immersions today is so that wives and husbands can be physically intimate.**

The main requirement for a mikvah is that the water has to come from a source that is running.

If anyone is interested in a more detailed description of the procedure for a Mikvah the best book I know of that really goes into it from a woman's point of view is called:

To Be A Jewish Woman by Lisa Aiken

here is a very spiritual side to the mikvah and this book is very good at describing how the woman feels as she is preparing herself in prayer just before she immerses herself in this bath.

Here is an example of one prayer that I think is very beautiful and is especially good for the Bride to be:

May it be Your will, YHWH our Elohim, that Your Divine Sh'khinah/Presence rest between my husband and myself.

And may Your holy Name be unified through us, and cause a spirit of purity and holiness to enter our hearts.

Distance me from all bad thoughts and fantasies, and give my husband and myself a pure and clean nefesh/soul.

Let neither of us cast our eyes on any other person in the world, but let my eyes be on my husband, and let his eyes be on me.

And let it seem to me that there is no man in this world who is better, more handsome, and more gracious than my husband... And so should I seem in his eyes, that there is no woman in the world who is more beautiful, gracious, and appropriate for him than I.

And all of his thoughts should be directed toward me, and not toward anyone else....As it is said, "Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife."

And may it be Your will, YHWH our Elohim, that our union be beautiful, a proper union of love, unity, shalom, and friendship; a union that is proper according to Torah;

a union that has proper fear of Shamayim/heaven and fear of sin; a union that will result in deserving children who are righteous, perfect, and upright.

It should be a union that will result in healthy children, a union full of blessing...a union through which will be fulfilled the verse, "Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in your house, your children like planted olive trees around your table."

Our union should be one in which my husband is happier with me than with all of the good things that he has in the world...

Our union should never be one of anger, quarreling, contention, or jealously. Rather, it should be one of love, unity, shalom, friendship, humility, modesty, and patience.

It should be a union of love, righteousness, doing of charitable deeds, and doing good to Elohim's creatures; it should result in a healthy and good child, whose body will not be damaged, or lacking,

who will have no affliction, plague, sickness, disease, pain, trouble, weakness, or failing, and who will not lack goodness for all the days of his life.

We should form a union that will allow holiness and purity to flow in thought, speach, and action as befits proper human beings, in our nefeshot/souls, our spirits, and our bodies.

Our union should be according to the laws of holiness, with success and blessing, the blessings of shamayim/heaven blessings of the deep below, blessings of the breasts and the womb. A union of holy and pure seed, good and beautiful, sweet and acceptable.

Therefore, for the sake of the Holy One, blessed be He, with His Divine Sh'khinah/Presence....I am prepared and ready to immerse myself according to the Torah.

May it be Your will, YHWH Elohim, that You purify us, and sanctify us with Your holiness, and cause to flow down to us from You a spirit of purity and holiness.

And be pleased with us, and with our deeds, and let us be worthy to doing Your will forever, all the days of our lives. And bless us from Your blessing, because You are the Source of all blessing, forever.

Question:

Lev. 15:24-27

~And if a man lies with her at all, SO THAT HER IMPURITY IS ON HIM, he shall be tumah/unclean seven days; and every bed on shich he lies shall be tumah/unclean

See it is when the man gets the impurity on him that causes him to then become tumah [meaning no sexual intimacy]...he then has received her state of niddah upon himself..

for he then is considered tumah for seven days also...because notice in verses 27 that if one just touches whatever she has sit or laid on is only unclean till evening after immersion.

In Lev. 15:24-27 it says that every bed that she lies on and every chair that she sits on is unclean. If her husband sleeps in the same bed or even touches her he is unclean. How should that be handled?

Answer:

The prohibition of physical contact between a woman who is niddah and a man is independent of whether such contact could make him ritually impure.

For example, a modern woman who is niddah is not prohibited from touching her father, her male children, or other women.

If the transfer of tumah/unclean was what made contact between a niddah and her husband prohibited, a woman who is niddah could not touch anyone.

We are all in the state of 'tumah/unclean' today because the Temple is not standing and we do not have the waters mixed with the ashes of the Parah Adumah/Red Heifer to purify us from this state of uncleanness. [Bamidbar/Num. 19]

So the purpose of immersion today is so the husbands and wives can be physically intimate....in other words, immersion cannot put one in the state of tahor/clean today...but is still required so the husband and wife can be physically intimate after the period of niddah.

We are still tumah/unclean in the true sense but our state of niddah has been removed through immersion.

Question:

I was enlightened by recent posts concerning a woman's time of uncleanness, and what may, can, should, and shouldn't be done.

Most of this I have known and practiced for a while now. But could you write more concerning the issue brought up in the post of 13 Jan?

If a man (or anyone) is made unclean by simply touching something the niddah has sat or laid on, SHOULD we be concerned about that?

SHOULD the man and his niddah wife sleep in the same bed for those two weeks? Should a woman who is niddah not allow anyone to sit on or to touch her chair(s)?

IF the uncleanness is transferred, but this uncleanness is not of significance due to the non-existance of the Temple, SHOULD we care about that?

I have no doubt the anyone coming in actual contact with menstral blood becomes unclean and believe me I do my utmost to prevent that.

But during the seven days following the cessation of bleeding, when there is NO BLOOD, what can be the cause of uncleanness?

If my children sit on the chair I've been sitting on, SHOULD it matter? DOES it matter? Should we trundle them off to the tub?

Please, what is your personal practice, if you would be willing to share! Should we be acting AS THOUGH the Temple stood, maybe?

You see, I abhor that attitude in myself which says, Oh, it just doesn't matter! which sloppiness I feel may creep into other areas of my life. I truly do want to be able to stand blameless before the perfect Father!

Further answer:

If a man (or anyone) is made unclean by simply touching something the niddah has sat or laid on, SHOULD we be concerned about that?

No, I don't believe so because we all are in the state of tumah/uncleanness because of the Temple not standing and our inability to go through all the required ceremonies given in the Torah to become tahor/clean again.

Today I believe the "Niddah" status is specifically in reference for the wife and her husband....for it would be breaking a mitzvah to have sexual intimacy while in the state of niddah...but to sit on a couch where a niddah sat does not break a mitzvah/commandment for how does a person become more unclean than their already state of uncleanness since the Temple is not standing?

Sitting on or touching items that a niddah has sat on or touched cannot not be prevented but to have sexual intimacy can be prevented.

SHOULD the man and his niddah wife sleep in the same bed for those two weeks?

Should a woman who is niddah not allow anyone to sit on or to touch her chair(s)?

Many orthodox Yehudim do sleep in separate beds during this time to help prevent the contact that might cause them to become intimate...but many do not.....it is a decision to be made by both concerning whether the husband may come in contact with the niddah's impurity.

IF the uncleanness is transferred, but this uncleanness is not of significance due to the non-existance of the Temple, SHOULD we care about that?

Yes we are to care because we do have the ability to separate ourselves during this time [no sexual contact] and the abiblity to take a mikvah [ritual bath] before we have contact with our husbands....and for those that do not have access to a mikvah can fulfill this to the best of their ability with a shower done in dedication for this specific reason...

with a prayer to YHWH to remove the uncleanness...I believe YHWH knows our hearts and will accept anyone's best done out of love and respect for Him and His mitzvot.

I have no doubt the anyone coming in actual contact with menstral blood becomes unclean and believe me I do my utmost to prevent that.

But during the seven days following the cessation of bleeding, when there is NO BLOOD, what can be the cause of uncleanness?

There is a period that is called "White days" that is after the original seven days and Jewish women apply white cloth for these extra days and check to make sure there has been total cessation of bleeding.

If my children sit on the chair I've been sitting on, SHOULD it matter? DOES it matter? Should we trundle them off to the tub?

It matters if you know that you have transferred blood to that chair and then they sat upon it.

Remember it is the transferring of the impurity [blood] is what matters...in Temple times it was much more involved because no one could come into the Temple in a state of uncleanness. Today we must observe this to the best of our ability..which specifically requires our separation from physical intimacy with our husbands...

Please, what is your personal practice, if you would be willing to share! Should we be acting AS THOUGH the Temple stood, maybe?

You see, I abhor that attitude in myself which says, Oh, it just doesn't matter! which sloppiness I feel may creep into other areas of my life. I truly do want to be able to stand blameless before the perfect Father!

I understand what you are saying...but please remember...all is in a state of uncleanness so to touch something we have touched will not make someone who is already unclean..unclean....but to have sexual intimacy during our time of impurity or literally

transferring that impurity to others is preventable and is against Torah...there is a difference.

I hope this has helped...I really reccomend the book called "To be a Jewish Woman" by Lisa Aiken...it really goes into discussion on the state of Niddah.

Shavua tov,

TOGETHER IN SEPARATENESS by Rabbi Dr. Reuven P. Bulka

Marriage is a vital component of the Jewish community. It should come as no surprise that Jewish law has much to say about it. Jewish laws on intimacy between husband and wife can enhance the marital relationship--especially now when the institution of marriage is in serious crisis.

Unfortunately, these laws do not get good press.

The Jewish laws governing the conjugal relationship are generally called taharat ha'mishpacha legislation. Taharat ha'mishpacha translates literally as "the purity of the family."

It is a description more of a theme than of the laws involved.

The laws, in brief, proscribe conjugal relations for not less than five days from the onset of menstruation, and, following the cessation of the menstrual flow, for another seven consecutive days when no menstrual presence is detected.

Following that, the wife immerses in a specially constructed and filled pool of water called a mikveh. After immersion, conjugal relations are resumed.

These rules are primarily for the wife. They are more taharat ha'isha, "purity of the woman," than purity of the family.

The thematic description of these rules as taharat ha'mishpacha contains a message that should not be lost on the husband, the couple, or the community.

The major onus of the laws rests on the woman. Taharat ha'mishpacha as a process, though, enhances and uplifts the entire family.

The husband and wife, and their children -- the spiritual-biological extensions of their union--can all benefit.

The husband dare not remove himself from being involved in the obligations of his wife. Emotional support and encouragement, understanding, and appreciation of her dedication, are just some of the ways he can show his wife that she is not alone.

By doing this, the husband confirms that the rules and their benefits are for the family.

An explanation of the concept of tahara is in order. The translation of tahara as "purity" is inaccurate and misleading, or at best incomplete. A woman in a menstrual state is not unclean, or impure; she is "tmaea".

There is no English word to adequately convey what tameh (the masculine form of "tmaea") means. When one is tameh, one is in a state of limbo, not yet ready to assume or resume certain interactional relations.

This is a contemplative state, when one focuses on the inner causes and implications of the tameh condition. Invariably, the state of being tameh arises from the loss of life potential, as in the case of menstruation, or from having direct contact with or being in the immediate proximity of death.

Immersion in a mikveh at the culmination of the tameh state signifies reentry into interactional life, energized by the contemplation that took place during the period of separateness. The mikveh is filled with water that was never drawn in a receptacle-- water that was never limited by human use.

Mikveh water is Elohim's water taking its shape and initiating its usefulness in the mikveh itself.

The person who immerses in the mikveh is symbolically surrounded by life, by water, in its pristine and spiritual sense.

The wife emerges from the mikveh ready and eager to resume spiritually creative intimacy with her husband, to shape life together. This ready eagerness is called "tahara".

The purpose for the biblically mandated separation during the menstrual period and the week following is clearly enunciated in the Talmud. It is to recreate the excitement and thrill of the wedding night for the husband and wife.

The law actually effects a renewal, a monthly emotional reunion. This helps prevent the relationship from becoming routinized.

The separation during the menstrual period is an affirmation, not a denial, of the marital bond. The purpose of the enforced separation is to enhance togetherness. The purpose of the menstrual laws is to enable a more intense intimacy.

Several other benefits accrue from this sensitive complex of rules. The husband (who is generally more likely to be overcome by sensual pressure) is programmed to adjust his needs to his wife's availability.

The wife does not have to impose the discipline of her schedule. The Torah does it for her. The law inculcates respect for the wife, for her dignity as the person entrusted with control of the rhythm of family life.

Another benefit is the significant minimization of the possibility that the couple will argue that one partner is not responsive enough to the sensual needs of the other. The obligation of responsiveness is clearly delineated.

Potential conflict arising from uncoordinated desires is minimized because waiting the prescribed period of two weeks is an effective way to correlate moods and desire.

This is not to suggest that the taharat ha'mishpacha rules guarantee blissful happiness for the couple. There is still plenty of room to create and solve problems.

The halakha establishes the marital framework, but does not legislate all the nuances within it.

Legislating all the nuances would ruin the excitement and openness the halakha itself endeavors to create. Under normal circumstances, however, the couple who lives by the letter and intent of the taharat ha'mishpacha regulations cannot help but be better off for it.

The community, too, is much better off with happy couples. This is so much the case that building a mikveh takes precedence over building a synagogue or writing a Torah scroll for a community.

The foundation of happy committed families comes first. The rest follows.

Long-Range Benefits

There are also some long-range benefits from these regulations. The couple, accustomed over the years to periods of physical separateness, will be better able to adjust to their later years when sensuality, although still present, is usually not as intense.

Taharat ha'mishpacha has embedded itself in the collective Jewish psyche. Through practicing it, the Jew has learned to endure momentary frustration for the sake of fulfillment in the future.

The Jew does not demand instant gratification. He can cope as long as there is hope for the future.

This discipline has helped the Jew endure excruciating pain, trauma, and tragedy because of the messianic belief that salvation will eventually come. Trained to wait, the Jewish people has been able to persevere.

The Emotional Dimension that Makes it Work

Taharat ha'mishpacha is not free of difficulty. Aside from the natural difficulty of being together with but apart from the one you love, the separation itself comes at a time when the wife needs her husband's support.

The couple should realize that physical separation should in no way be an excuse for total withdrawal.

Although physical intimacy during the separation period is not possible, emotional intimacy is both possible and highly desirable.

With physical relations out of the question, the couple can and should put their energies into developing a caring relationship.

This is an ideal time to comprehend what the other person is going through and feeling. It is a good opportunity to work on improving aspects of the relationship.

The couple who effectively uses the separation period to prepare for a greater, more meaningful togetherness will come to view the night of immersion as more than a physical reunion. For them, it is a festival of its own, an event to be celebrated.

And for us, it is a marriage to be emulated.